OMG!!!! TEH SCANDAL PWNS FTW!!!!1111

Torture................................meh
Illegal wiretapping of American citizens.....................meh
Illegal war based on lies................meh
Rampant corruption & incompetence.............meh
Repeal of civil liberties....................meh
Using the Constitution as toilet paper.............meh
John McCain may have had a romantic relationship with a lobbyist............... OMG!!!!! BREAKING NEWS!!!!11 Here's a story worth covering!

In other BREAKING NEWS!!!!11 Barack Obama is not a virgin!!! Hillary Clinton has a vagina!!!
*giggles inanely and runs away*